Am I Ready for Sex???

Dear Shawna,

Me and my boyfriend are both 13 and we have been together for a long time – since 6th grade!  We are ready and want to be sexually active.  We plan to have safe and very protected sex but I wanted to ask you if this is a good decision.  I don’t know what to do.  We love each other a lot and we both want to be sexually active.  Any advice?



Thanks for the question!  I love questions!

Deciding to become sexually active can be very difficult!  It is a very personal decision – meaning only YOU know if you are really ready.  Sex can be a wonderful thing between two people who love and respect each other.  But if you aren’t ready,  it can also be a not so good experience.

First,  I encourage you to talk to a trusted adult if possible – like a parent or older sibling.  It sounds like you have already been talking to your boyfriend about sex and that’s awesome.  Starting the conversation is usually the hardest part for most people!  I  encourage you to continuing talking to your boyfriend. Talk about what you think it means to be ready (which is different for everyone),  talk about how things may change afterward, talk about how you want to protect yourself (condoms, hormonal birth control or both),  and talk about what you would do if things didn’t happen they way you planned.

I know that conversation can be tough but it sounds like  you are headed in the right direction!

In happiness & health,


Reviewed by Grace Shih, MD

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