Keeping Yourself Out of a Text Wreck


Keeping yourself out of a text wreck

About a month ago, I wrote a blog about improving communication in relationships.  There are some pretty useful tips you can check out, especially if you don’t want your relationship to be like a  Taylor Swift song.  After writing that blog, I felt like a huge piece was missing because I know how much people use social media and their phone to communicate with one another.  Communicating in a text is pretty different from talking face to face.  I know I’ve seen some train wrecks happen in relationships because of mishaps that happened in text arguments and I’m hoping we can come up with some ideas to help prevent that from happening to you.

First off, I’m not saying talking to a partner or a friend via text is bad.  It’s just a different way of talking.  You may want to pick and choose if you should have a conversation face to face or in a text.  There are pros and cons to every decision we can make.  If you read through this list and want to add something, do it in a comment or email at

Face to Face Conversation:


  • Can judge a person’s reaction’
  • Can read their body language
  • Some people feel they can be more expressive
  • Can hear a person’s tone of voice


  • Some people feel too much pressure and avoid conversations or shut down
  • May be difficult to find a perfect place and time to talk
  • Other people can know your business if they see or hear you
  • Might forget what someone said

Text Conversation:


  • Fast
  • Easy
  • Can talk whenever
  • Some people feel less pressure when not face to face
  • Some people feel more connected getting pictures and texts even when they are far apart


  • Difficult to read someone’s reactions
  • Subtleties (jokes, sarcasm, surprise, concern) are often misunderstood
  • May be limited in what you can say
  • Other person can “walk away” and not respond
  • Batteries can die in the middle of a discussion
  • Your setting might not match the conversations (i.e. hanging our with friends or family)

So like I said earlier, you might want to pick and choose which conversations are going to be best face to face or in person.  But let’s say you want to talk something out, right here, right now, and you’re going to bring it up in a text, here are some tips that might make things go more smoothly.

Text Pix

           Read the tips from the earlier blog (click here).
A lot of them apply to texts too.  You can arrange for a better time to talk things out in a text.  It can be as simple as, “I have to talk about something important with you.  Is now a good time or when should I text you?” or “I really need to talk to you about something important, can you get to someplace quiet so we can text now?” or “I need to talk about X,Y, and Z. Can we text or is it easier to talk face to face      

       Be as expressive as you can.
Remember that an estimated 70% of what we say comes from things other than our words.  Since you can’t express yourself through your tone of voice or body language try to really let the other person know what you are thinking and feeling.  Encourage the person you are talking with to do the same.
Write your thoughts thoroughly. Use emoticons. Say when you’re serious or when you’re joking. 

          Read their texting language.
Are there long pauses before a response?  Are there a lot of typos or missing words? So, ask them to text you when they have time.  If they stop texting completely, follow up later to see what happened.  Their phone might have died, they might have lost service, or had their phone borrowed or taken.

       Take a moment to breathe.
Remember that once you say it, you can’t take a text back.  It’s easy to get sucked up into a texting tornado where you text before you think.

Ask yourself if you will regret saying it in 5 minutes, in 5 hours, in 5 days, or in 5 years.  Read your text back to yourself before you send it.  Is it clear?  How would it feel to tell a friend you said that?

If the other person texts you something unbelievable, take a moment to breathe.  Could this have a different meaning?  Could there be other reasons why they seem to be acting a certain way?  Ask them questions to clear things up.

All right, I’m tapped out for now.  If any of you all have ideas or things that you do to make a texting conversation better, let us know at New Gen!

Volunteer Health Educator

Reviewed by Shawna : )


What do YOU like about your birth control method?

What do YOU like about your birth control method?


The other day, a patient asked me:  “Which birth control method is the best?”  This is a great question!  Although there are some methods more effective than others, “the best” method is the method that works best for you and your life. Finding a birth control that works for you may take some time as you try out different methods, but luckily we have a variety of methods to choose from.  If you try a method out for 3 to 6 months (about the amount of time needed for your body to get used to the method) and aren’t happy with it or find that you are forgetting to take it, you can try another!

We asked our patients and Facebook fans what they like about their birth control method and this is what they said!  You can start to see that each person has their own reasons for why their method works for them.  Let us know what you like in your birth control by posting a comment or emailing us at Everyone who submits a few sentences about their method will receive a $5 gift card to Starbucks or Jamba Juice!


“I really like the IUD because I don’t like remembering to take a pill every day. I’ve used it for over 5 years and it’s very effective.”


“I like the Implant because I don’t have to remember or think about it. It hasn’t made me moody or given me side effects.  I also lost a little weight while using it.”

Depo Shot

“I am on the Depo shot and I like that it is convenient—I am very forgetful with pills. It also just works well with my body.”


“I really like the NuvaRing and have been on it for 6 years. It’s great because I am super inconsistent with taking pills and don’t have a reliable system for being on top of it ever. With the NuvaRing, I can leave it in and not have to think about it. Plus, I have this app on my computer that tells me when to take it out and when to put a new one in. Also, I hear it is a lower dose of hormones than other birth control, which I like. Oh, finally for real now, it has also helped regulate pimples!”


“I really like the patches because they are simple and effective. I also like it because it’s easy to apply and not noticeable.”


“I like birth control (pills) because it eases the menstrual cycle and helps my period stay regular.”

“I am on (low-dose pills) and I like that the extra low dosage doesn’t make me nauseous.”


“I use condoms; I like them the most because they are non-hormonal and they also protect against STDs.”


As you can see, it’s all about finding what works for you!  Make an appointment at New Gen (415.502.8336) to talk to a health educator about what YOU want in your birth control method.  You can also check out previous blogs written about these various methods by using the search function on the lower right side of this page underneath the archives titled “What Cha Looking For?”.  You can also visit methods to learn more about the different methods and see videos of women talking about what they like in their method.


Many patients also like to know which method is most effective, which can be part of someone’s decision to pick a certain method.  Check out this chart for more about the effectiveness of different methods:


Remember, the effectiveness of all birth control depends on how well you are using the birth control (not forgetting pills, getting the shot on time, removing the ring or patch correctly, etc.)  If you use your method perfectly it will be more effective, and some methods (like the IUD or Implant) are easier to use perfectly! Still have questions? Email us at

-Angela Freitas, AmeriCorps member

Reviewed by Andrea Raider, NP